some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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