It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love having hate sex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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