Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
