new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
