she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
