You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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