the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
