I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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