Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
