Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
