my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
