its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the condom got lost in my hair
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
