got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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