I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize