I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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