I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
