i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
