That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
