Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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