Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
