so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Welp...herpes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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