I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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