Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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