get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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