I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
