I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
