Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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