She announced her abortion via fbk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
