god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize