i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
