Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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