Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
