Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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