K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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