is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
