We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
