Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
