end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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