does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
