I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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