I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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