haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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