How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
