Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize