But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
