Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
