Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
