I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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