Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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