Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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