I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
