Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize