I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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