either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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