sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
