its not stalking. its research.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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