i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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