Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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