Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My liver just broke up with me...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
