exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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