Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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