I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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