I heard we made out
She is in my trunk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize